I’ve had this problem with my writing over the last couple years – I had no ideas. I thought and thought and still no ideas. Sometimes I would come up with small ideas, nothing big enough to sustain whole stories, but ideas, still – usually of half-imagined characters. I can come up with characters no problem, and snippets of dialogue, and maybe half of a chewed up plot line, but actual story – this has been impossible to come by.
Which is I guess why I haven’t finished a short story in around two years, though I’ve started plenty. I kept chalking it up to laziness. Why couldn’t I take half an idea or a character name and turn it into a freaking novel? A lack of discipline, of course.
I am currently working on two short stories. One of which is a half-formed idea that I think if I punch enough will finally start to look like a story. Another one, the more recent one, came from an idea that feels larger. I was sitting in Starbucks, forcing myself to write, and it came to me.
Is it a good idea? I don’t know. But there’s characters there, and a plot, and even a sub-plot, and CONFLICT! How did it happen? Well, I squinted at my computer screen in boredom for long enough that my brain was just like, “Okay, enough, here you go – do something.”
For the first time in a while I think about my story when I’m not writing. That’s how it used to be – like my mind couldn’t rest until the story was finished and all written down. But this is still a small idea, and an idea is not a story by itself. So what happens when you finally have an idea? If you don’t keep working on the story, there’s a chance it’ll leave you, and you’ll forget why you were excited to write it in the first place.
I am living in fear that this will happen. Right now I am busy – I am learning how to admit that without feeling lazy. While I write this it’s finals week, but I still wrote a little bit today. I am getting better all the time at this writing-with-a-day-job thing. It only took me a few years to have an idea. Hopefully, in another decade, I’ll have finally written something good.
The point of this post is mainly just to check in, and because I felt like I have to update this blog every once in a while or else it goes to the blog graveyard to die. But also I wanted to say that I’ve finally taken the writing advice that I’ve heard so many times, and it worked. You can’t wait to feel inspired, you just have to sit your butt in the chair and get to work. I was always all for the sitting part, but once it got to the work part, the blank word processing document with its cursor going blink blink blink always filled me with a bone-deep exhaustion. It didn’t make me feel especially creative. On the day in Starbucks when I got the idea for the story I am currently working on, I had a backpack full of grad school work I should have been doing instead. But I wanted to try and write something. I put a timer on for 25 minutes, and opened up a notebook, and after a few minutes of that familiar, no-fun feeling of having nothing to write, I eventually did. For every writing session that goes like that, I’ve had a bunch of others that have gone the other way, where I clam up and then go take a nap instead. I’ve heard it gets easier the more often you do it.